Ha! Tea 'n' Danger

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Category Archives: Personal

My Best Friend: March 1972 – September 2011

I met him in junior high but it wasn’t until a couple of years later in high school that we became the best of friends. We were each others inspirations and we were inseparable. We never had a fight; not even an argument. In the summer of 1990 that changed. We had a major falling out and it was just before I was to start a new job in another city. Life took us in different directions and I never saw him again.

I harbored a lot of guilt from then on. I was full of hate, anger and self loathing. I was near impossible to get along with, because I held everyone to impossible standards that I imposed upon myself. I was well on my way to becoming a bitter old man at war with the world.

I never forgot my best friend nor did I ever stop missing him. All this time and distance, he was still my best friend. February 2011, I did a Facebook search for him and found him. Right then and there my life changed.

We exchanged emails for a couple of days while I built up the courage to call him. The first call went great, which led to the next call, and the call after that and so on. I had my best friend back and it was like no time had passed. We picked up right where we left off minus the hurt feelings.

We lived in different states so the friendship was limited to emails and phone calls, but we didn’t let that slow us down. We were laughing, joking and looking forward to when life would give us a chance to hug and  have a face to face conversation.

July 2011, my job on the road takes me home around the same time he is coming to town to visit family. I was nervous all over again, but a huge hug later and an evening of nonstop conversation put that to rest permanently. We managed to squeeze in two other visits and even got some pictures taken together before we both had to return to our regularly scheduled lives.

After that we continued to keep in touch via email, Facebook and hours on the phone. Very recently he told me he was planning on moving back to town where we went to school together and where I currently call home. Our most recent conversations consisted largely of our plans to spend every moment possible making up for lost time. We still had a lot of catching up to do. A million questions to be asked. A million stories to be told.

The last time I talked to him was on Tuesday. He sounded good and was in the process of packing for his move. He expected to be in town this weekend and there was a chance I would be in town when he got there. We were both excited about the prospect of seeing each other again relatively so soon. He cut the call short, because he was pretty busy with a lot of packing ahead of him.

The next day was a pretty busy day for me which stayed that way until pretty late in the evening. Just as I was settling down for the night I noticed that I had a message waiting for me on Facebook. It was his mom “call me as soon as you can, very important”. It was late but I couldn’t not call her. Moments later my worst fears had been confirmed; my best friend was gone.

My heart goes out to all of his friends and family. He was a good man. I love him like a brother and I miss him so much.

A million unasked questions. A million untold stories. If you knew him I would love to hear your stories. You can email me via my Contact page or Facebook.

You can read a little more about him in my About page where he receives honorable mentions. He’s the reason this blog is what it is today. He’s the reason I am the man I am today.

Whether you knew him or not, there is something that he shared with me that I would like to share with everyone else as well. He turned me on to a documentary a while back that has changed my life forever more. It’s not a religious film, but you would think it was considering the effect it had on me. It gave me a sense of spirituality that I never had before. It gave me the ability to forgive (myself and others), which I previously thought I was incapable of. It opened my eyes in countless ways. I couldn’t give a higher recommendation to anything.

This documentary, which came out in the early part of this year, whether he mentioned it to you or not, was a big part of his life. It had given him focus and direction that was part of our conversations to the end. On behalf of him and I, I strongly recommend this documentary to everyone.

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