Ask A Trucker: Lot Lizard Blues

The following is a letter that landed in the “? A Trucker” mail bag on April 17th. Please forgive my slow response time. I’ve been slowly but surely getting off my lazy ass and back into the frame of mind needed to get things done. Now, on with the festivities:

• Q:

hi my name is XXXXX, i am 24 my husband has been a truck driver for 2 years now. in his past 7/8years) he has an obsession of jerking off too 900 #’s. which really upsets me. we have a 5 yr old daughter, i am currently 5 1/2 months pregnant. but anyways i found 2 names &#’s of lot lizards in his cab on 4/14/2008. of couse the son of bitch denies it, he says, he let those whores use his cb. and they left their numbers for him 2 give away! yeah , i wasn’t born yesterday…… but he swears up n down , he’s tired of defending himself too me. also i finally cracked his password on his cell phone and discovered phone sex messages from oct-dec 2007…. i am sick n tired of his bullshit, i don’t deserve this . so i am telling him tonight that i am done with him/ divorce…… if you were me , would that be the choice 2 make? plus i had myself checked for any type of sexual diseases today @ the doctors office.

please let me know what you think.

• A:

Let’s break this down shall we, starting with the 900 #’s. He’s a guy, so there’s not any getting around the jerking off, but the fact that he’s into the 900 #’s to make it happen is a problem, and a pricey one at that. I’m no sex therapist, but that doesn’t sound too good to me. Any time any habit starts effecting every day life in a negative way you’ve got a problem. In your case a financial problem at the least. He might be the one bringing home the bacon, but it’s your bacon too. You two have a family to take care of and that comes first.

Next let’s address the names and #’s you found in his cab. The first thing you’ve got to wonder is, are these the #’s of lot lizards, or just skanks in general? In either case it doesn’t bode well for him. In his defense however, I have heard of lot lizards asking to use truckers’ CB’s to drum up business, so that’s not completely unbelievable. Still there’s no way of knowing for sure. True or false, it sounds like he’s getting to close for comfort if you ask me.

Lastly, you’ve found sex related messages on his cell phone. I’d like to hear his story to get out of this one. Whatever the case, all of these things add up to a lot of trust issues, and trust is the main ingredient in a good marriage. Without trust all you have is a doomed relationship. It’s just a matter of time. Getting yourself checked out at the doctor’s office sounds like a good idea. Better safe than sorry. I hope all turned out ok it that department.

My opinion: If you have any intentions of making this marriage work, he’s gonna have to give up the 900 #’s, you’re both gonna have to get some marriage counseling, and a new line of work for your husband may be in order. I suggest a new career, because the trust is already gone, and with him away from home for weeks at a time there’s no time to mend the damage that’s already been done, and that trust isn’t going to magically return while he’s out on the road.

In the end, I’m not a marriage counselor. I’m just a simple trucker who was expecting questions more along the lines of “what do you do when you gotta poop real bad?”. I hope everything works out for the best. Sounds like you have some very serious decision making to do. Think with your head, not with your heart, and I’m sure you’ll do the right thing. Take care.

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