First Dinner With Dad And Me

As I’ve bounced around from blog to blog soaking in story after story I’ve noticed a reoccurring theme. I’ve seen the word cooter written more times than I’ve heard it said in real life. Well it reminded me of a story from when I was a little boy, and I thought I would share it with you.

Oh, and for those of you not familiar with “cooter” it is another word for “vagina” most commonly used in northeastern states of the US (or at least that’s been my experience).

I was about six years old when my dad started dating my step mom (2B). My dad wanted her to know right up front that I was part of the package deal, and what she was in for, so one of their first (if not the first) times going out to dinner together, I was along for the ride.

As we drove down the road in my dad’s Rambler the backseat was my playground. This was back in the day before child car seats, booster seats, or even seatbelts were popular for kids in the back seat (or front seat for that matter).

We were on our way to my dad’s favorite seafood restaurant/bait and tackle shop in Florida. It was a locally owned hole in the wall that served everything from catfish (all you can eat), to frog legs, to turtle, to raw oysters, to other more traditional dishes like shrimp and crab.

I’d been there for dinner with my dad and his friends on several occasions, and I pretty much knew the menu by heart, and all the items my dad was most likely to order.

As I stood on the back seat, leaning over the front seat I asked step mom “what are you going to have for dinner?” but she really wasn’t sure. She said she’d have to wait and see. That’s when I announced to her “I know what my dad wants. He’s gonna get himself some cooter! He loves eating cooter!” and she got this “OH MY GOD” look on her face. I’m sure you can just imagine her (originally from Maine) thinking to herself “what in the hell has this man been telling this boy?” as she sat there speechless and in shock.

As I said, I was only six years old, and I had no clue cooter meant vagina to her. In her mind a six year old boy just told her that his dad likes to eat pussy, and that he planned on getting him some that night. What I did know is that in the south cooter means turtle, and it actually says cooter in the menu where we were going.

MmmMmmMmmmm…  Cooter! It’s what’s for dinner.