"Does anyone want to go out for burgers and drinks after the show?"
"Pssst... Hey OJ. YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT!"
Abarclay12 @ The Leaky Brain: I started writing this post last night, and this is where I left off. I was stumped on what to say about The Brain. I’ve tried telling friends about her before, but found myself without words to describe her or her site. When I went to bed the answer came to me in a dream…
~~~
It was me, Mel Tillis (the country singer), and Jude Law (the movie star). We were all about to go fishing. I told Mel and Jude to go on ahead, and that I would catch up. Down at the dock Mel and Jude start setting up and opening a few beers when Jude loses his balance and falls into the water. Not being able to swim he quickly goes under, and Mel not being a swimmer either, watched helplessly.
I showed up just after this happened, and Mel was freaking out. “What happened?” I asked, but Mel was so distraught that all he could do was stutter and spit. I told him “Sing it Mel” and that’s when he broke into song (sung to the tune of “Camp-Town Races”):
But before Mel could finish his song Jude jumps out of the water and onto the dock with a fish in his mouth, spit it out and said “goony-goo-goo”. Before Mel could say/sing another word I Jap-slapped (Jap-slap: a vicious hand strike, of Japanese origin, delivered with such force that it results in the recipient shitting rice for a week) his monkey ass for lying to me about Jude drowning, and then I flew off into the sunset.
~~~
That’s when I woke up, but I had the answer to my problem. To explain The Brain, I say it with a song (sung to the tune of “Pinky And The Brain”):
Ok, maybe this wasn’t the answer after all. There really is no explaining The Brain, you just have to see/read for yourself.
I started reading her blog after running into her post titled “My Time As A 3-D Porn Star” on the WordPress home page. Her avatar looked familiar (turns out she’s on Red’s blogroll) and with a title like that, I had to check it out. Subsequently I laughed my ass off, and I’ve been reading her ever since.
NEXT: Chapter V: Year Of The Chick
"Has anyone seen my rude little pig, er, ummm, I mean my daughter?"
"Has anyone seen my panties?"
"Has anyone seen my panties?"
January 22, 2008 at 3:32 am
LOL!
You have weird dreams.
This is a great post.
Hehehe,
thank you.
Peter Parkour
January 22, 2008 at 11:42 am
I am honored to be made famous forever in song. I’ve been called leaky before, but never freaky like a squirrel. Yes, yes, yes.
Is this where I make the crack about you being all up on my nuts??? Nah, but seriously Brain, thank you for your inspiring me to be a bit more creative. I’ve always been one to stretch the truth, but never to twist it into a pretzel.
Peter Parkour
January 22, 2008 at 8:07 pm
AB: you are SO a hair-twirler as you write, I knew it!
Peter you need to record an album like NOW!!
I tried getting on American Idol, but Simon Cowell ripped me a new one. He said I my voice was good, but that my moves were way too pornographic, and he didn’t like the way I kept eyeing Paula. I think they were going to give me the go-ahead, but then I told Simon “FUCK YOU, YOU POMPUS JACKASS!” and that was the end of that. Now I’m the washed up has-been that never was. Dang it.
Peter Parkour
April 21, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Okay, yup, been to her site long ago and will have to re-visit. I’m think’n she’s the girl who makes up the most ridiculously hilarious stories ever? And, Romi, she’s in the same ballpark. Such imaginations and awesome that they can make me LOL. Literally, been sitting here with shaking shoulders laughing after reading some of the doozies they come up with, that’s what ‘cha call a truly gifted writer. !!! Fo shizzle!
G-O-L-D!
Yeah, but I make you laugh too, right?
You’r “G-O-L-D!” says yes. 
Peter Parkour